Sunday, 30 January 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 5

ahhhh i cant belive i'm practically half way through this (if i stick with the 11 day plan and not ten!) i'm feeling sooooo good! my tummy is flat, i've still got a reasonable amount of energy to get through the day and do my chores and besides the whiff of the bf's garlic rice early i can honestly say today has been the easiest by far with dealing with hunger cravings. infact i've hardly had any at all. in fact i was even thinking to myself during my mini shopping spree today (initiated by a need to get more maple syrup) how much of a chore it is to organise shopping and errand running around stopping for food in town. planning on where to go, how much to spend, whether i'm not eating and should fuel on some overpirced skinny, mocha mania frappawhateverchinno . its just been so easy and simple and the without the threat of food always on my mind extremley stress free! its like a friggin holiday from the crazy!

so all in all optimism spreading eagerly!

i woke up feeling exhausted again but, true to form, my first lemonaded of the day gives me all the pep i need!

as joyous as this whole thing is going i can honestly say i'm looking foreward to finishing! i miss my high intensity cardio workouts. i miss my morning cup of tea! i miss something as simple as as choosing between brown bread or white bread! and yes i am starting to get sick of the lemons! its everything i smell. its everything i taste. its just lemons lemons everywhere!!!!

buuuuuut i shouldnt be complaining. i have a bit of a sore throat, a furry tounge and occasional cramps which i suppose is a sign the the toxins a breaking down in my body which should mean they'll start getting flushed out!

and even though i have always said this is about my health i am revelling in the fact that all my curent trousers are falling down and i can switch back to the lower size!

i have to go to the doctors tomorrow about my IBS and theese new tablets i'm on! i feel reluctant to tell her that i'm on this cleanse unless the subject rears its ugly head in conversation. i'm not going to lie. and i'm not doing anything stupid! its just with an ED label tucked behind your belt health proffesionals are less inclined to believe your doing anything sensible for your health :/
but i am a mature adult and i should hope my choices in this instant should be respected!

todays little health change is to replace at least 2 meals a week with soya products! i often cook meals for me and my boyfriend to encourage him to eat healthier too and to try and achieve some normality around food! so this is a plus for the both of us!

tomorrow i'm back into the hustle and bustle of weekday life so i'm sure i'll have more interesting things to report!! i also get to weigh in again tomorrow so that should be fun!

so until then take care everyone and goodnight!

tonight i leave you with

Saturday, 29 January 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 4

today i have felt EXHAUSTED!! just shattered! i woke up at a fairly acceptable weekend time but couldnt rouse myself from the bed till at least 1:30pm! i just felt so weary! my first glass of lemonade did re-invigerate me for a while but i had to keep using it to fuel myself!

warm water deffinatley helps as in my tired state i needed something to warm my muscles up!

i've only managed to have 6 glasses of the stuff today and had to go on an emergency lemon run (never spent so much on lemons in my life, i got some wierd looks at the asda when i cleared there organic box out of the only 6 bags of lemons they had, for the second time in a row!

i've been having bad stomach cramps this evening and not sure whether to pin this down to the usual or to the lack of food in my tummy. once again i've been hearing the churning sounds rumble through my stomach wall so loud it made the cat jump!

i dont really have too much to report today! its been fairly uneventful!i havnt really had any feelings of HUNGER but the smell of food i've cooked for the fella has made be intensley miss its flavour and even the simple sensation of chewing! i miss food like i'd missa lost lipstick! yes it was special, a favourite and a fantastic shade but i dont linger on it too long as i dont need it and besides i have a million more! the nature of not eating has just become so usual that it would feel unusual now to be planning my day around food, counting my money and the dreaded obsession with calories! it feels nice to have that freedom. to have my mind back to myself to focus on whats going on in my life. how i'm coping. what i'm feeling. one less thing to busy myself with. a bit of me time! i think it deffinatley worth putting up with a couple of hours of discomfort each day!

i really missing excersize! its been hard for me to get to the gym currently so until monday i have been taking long walks and small jogs out in the cold of nature! i get bursts of energy and feel i could still manage some gentle cardio and deffinatley pilates! i need to start concentrating on keeping my metabolism going so as i approach the latter half of my cleanse i really need to turn my focus onto excersize!

unusally i've recieved much enjoyment flicking through recipie sites and books, eyeballing food porn and general busying myself around it in my day-to-day life without much concern over eating it! it feels less of a necessity, a enemy, a burden to me but more of a hobby. an interest. i have more respect for its sight, its smell, its various flavour. i feel like my eyes have be opened to a whole new realm of food. to natural products and from scratch home cooking! the earthy colours and the variety! less and less to i feel drawn my fast food, by the greace and fat and comfort of it all but more of the intrigue of creating new things. the indulgence to experiment! o.kay i'm still not gonna trust it and i dont believe for one minute i've been cured and good snap back into a normal way of healthy living and eating! i dont doubt that i would feel just as guilty overeating on chips than on oat cakes! but at least i'm trying to make a change! i least i havnt totally given up on myself yet!

i'm gonna signn off now and get some much desired rest. i can barley even concentrate on the screen, i feel a little dizzy and my hands are tingling!
today i have decided my change will be to not be afraid to eat vegan more often. an equal amount of the bodys nutrients and vitamins can be found in vegan products without resorting to heavy meats or fish! a lot recipies are designed to give the body all it needs and give one a satisfied 'full' feeling. no worries about craving or missing out on meat and resorting to binging! if you pic your ingrideants right you can keep your stomach happy! well thats whta i hope! if not i am just talking bollocks!

tonight i will leave you with some

Friday, 28 January 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 3

ok. so today was slightly more difficult but really not as bad as i was expecting! i have given up on the salt water flush as it makes me gag too much and with my dodgy stomach being as it is i really cant afford to be puking up nothing!! so i've switched it for the optional extra laxative tea in a morning!

And while were on the topic i suppose i must discuss bowel movements! well lets say i'm going! i'm going quite a bit but not so much to cause concern! it does feel like i am being flushed from the inside! more flushed then cleansed as of yet!!

i started the day feeling very rough as usual with severe stomach pains! i spent most of the morning moving between the loo and curling back up in bed! (and while were on a bit of TMI i must admitt i had a fair bit of flatulance *blushes*)

but after managing to rouse myself at around 11, take my laxtea and have another long shower i set about preparing my first lemonade drink of the day! i can honestly say before this i was feeling fairly peaky and my skin was a lovely shade of pale hangover white! but that zingy drink perked me up almost instanly and i was soon on my way!

i spent the evening busy at college, constantly gulping down my daily drink intake, and a felt a liberating rush of energy! i wasnt even tempted by the open bags of haribo scattered on the table! nope not one bit!! but then the evening hit and i have never and i mean NEVER have heard my stomach make such noisy! it was like i swallowed a wookie! MENTAL!! and i was feeling sooooooo hungry! even cartoon chips look appealing! its weird i mean i've fasted before for around a week or more and not had any problems but i've always been able to cheat! with the aim being weight loss and not good health as well i had no problems guzzling energy drinks, coffee, caffine pills and the likes to curb my appetite and give me energy (although the strain on my heart was terrifying and i would end up shaking and feeling like i was on some ecstacy trip with the palpatations) but now i know i have to watch my health! i given my body so much abuse i cant risk it!

but back to the hunger! i was soooo fucking grouchy! i was so tempted to just cook up a warm bowl of soup! something to calm my inside! but i forced my self to make another batch of juice and miraculously i began to feel better! i felt more energetic, after spending a good few solid hours curled up under duvets my body seemed to warm up and the hunger cravings and stomach rublings subsided and back came to positive feelings! i soon switched to being to optimist again! like a fruit fuelled bipolar!! it was mad!!!

i'm not gonna lie and say i'm enjoying this! i hate food and it always feels like the enemy to me but even with this fued i am still looking foreward to getting back to my warm tea, my boiled veggies and my tinned tuna!!! as much as i hate my relationship with food i can never deny that i dont appreciate its taste somedays! its comfort factor! and right now i miss that and it makes me feel momentarily weak! but i am doing this for a reason! i am doing this for my self and i am doing it to try and change my attitude towards food! maybe i learn to appreciate it more! to not waste it on mindless binges and guilt fuelled purges! to take more care when restricting and remeber that keeping the most nutriant packed all good earth fresh foods can actually be a friend to me!

i'm gonna round it up now with my healthy after cleanse changes! (i forgot to do this yesterday so i'll think of 2 for today)

ok the first is i'm going to start making all my own sauces and vinegrettes and dressings! my grandma bought me a real fancy food processor yesterday as a late moving in present for my flat and the benefit of this means i wont have to my those processed mystery dressing which can contain all sorts of dirty preservatives and often never offer and nutritional values!

the second is to cut a large amount of caffine out of my average diet! being on this cleanse has shown me the benefits of natural foods for providing good energy! i have often reallied to much on coffee to sustain me! but no more i say! plus it cant be good for my ibs!

as a final note i now weigh in at, dun dun dun duuuuuun, 154lbs! woop 11stone or 70kg whichever way you look! thats a loss of 7lbs so far! my knees and back arnt aching as much and i honestly feel a lot healthier in myself despite the stomach pain!

todays pictures are of

Thursday, 27 January 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 2

today was a little bit harder i admitt! i woke up with agonising stomach pains but as the day went on the pain went away! i tried to keep myself super occupied and it was going great until, whilst purusing the shops in the city centre with my gran, the delicious aromas of a dozen coffee shops, chocolate stalls and pannini places whifted through my nostrils! god easy meals have never smelt so good! i even found myself drooling over the image of a burger later on the internet, something which swiftly reminded me of why i was in this situation, of the shameful binges that helped me get stuck in stomach turmoil and chubby misery!

When i got back in from the freezing cold i ended up curling up on the sofa, tv on and covered in 3 fleecy blankets! hunger no longer on my mind i bunkered down for a couple of hours. still freexing a full of my tv fix i dragged my ass into the shower! Oh man the heat was soo good! i just stood there in the scolding water for what must have been at least 20mins! i jumped into an early bed time ritual of pj's, make-up off and man sized jumpers engulfing me!
it wasnt long after that i found myself jumping into the kitchen and whipping up a big batch of tasty lemony goodness! i felt so good that i was almost shocked when i saw food in the fridge and realised that it had not crossed my mind since my lucnhtime shopping and that instantly put me in a good mood again!

i guess the hardest thing today has been the cravings for binge worthy food. its not so much the want to eat a normal meal or even a snack or a nibble! its the familiar want to gorge myself! but i tell myself i am better than this and ploug onwards, looking foreward to my night time warmth from a herbal tea and a good nights sleep!

i've got a busy day planned for tommorow with lots of things to distract me from evil nawing cravings and the knowledge in my mind that my birthdays just around the corner and i want to achieve my goal to look and feel fabulous!!
thats all for now! i'm sure things will start getting more interesting the further i go into this! take care all!

oh and P.s. after a cheeky weigh in on the scales today i can happily say i am now 155lbs! still an appalingly hideous number but still! a loss of 6lbs in 6days! no thats enought to make anyone smile :D

i leave you with my picture collection for today!

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 1

So today has gone GREAT!!! i am so cheery cheery! it turns out the lemonade drink is DELICIOUS!! most people dont like it because of the spiciness of the cayenne pepper but i'm used to it so to me the drink is a refreshing little treat all through the day!!!!

i've had eight cups of the stuff today, 2 herbal teas and my morning Salt Water Flush (which was yucky but certainley did the trick)!! I'm gonna finish off with my smooth tea and an early night!! keep myself refreshed!

Still feeling pretty positive although the temptation to steal a tiny potatoe chunk off my bf's dinner was quite high! still i resisted!! NO POTATOE!!! :D

And i've only had 2 lots of meds today as my stomach pain has been quite discreet! i must admitt i'm already fed up of hand squeezin a dozen lemons so will have to go find my cheap juicer!

so here's the recipe i'm following for all those curious! i cup of juice contains

2 tblsp fresh organic lemon juice
2 tblsp grade B maple syrup
1/10 tsp cayenne pepper
8oz distilled water

shake it all up and enjoy!!!!

i dont doubt though that by friday i'll probably be feeling a little grouchy and many say this is the worst day of the cleanse. the hurdle to endure before you can really jump on the master cleanse bandwagon fan club!!
but if i can get through a social weekend and no college to keep me distracted then i know i'll be able to see this through to the end!!
hopefully some gentle exercise tomorrow will prove fruitful and as the day goes on will aid in calming the hunger pangs! as will the hot showers! but if i keep a strong mind i can try and overcome the physcological cravings!

people have blogged and noted before that to succeed you have to tune into your body and get to know what it really wants! i'm a little unnerved by this as i have had lots of trouble keeping focussed and concentrating on the positive things my body needs since i fell into this depression, ED bullshit but i've got my boyfriend supporting me through this and even the nod of approval my a reluctant mother so maybe i dont have to do something on my own for a change! maybe i should allow people to help keep me strong!

i'm still sticking to my pescribed meds as is the sensible thing to do but have yet to take and supplements/ vitamins which are discouraged in the original master cleanse book.

i've also decided to find a least one healthy meal recipie/ habbit/ excersize aid etc to add to my new after detox living!
today i have decided to take to the habbit of eating a small handfull of nuts or seeds replacing sugary or carby snacks i may turn to and then perhaps be tempted to binge on when the mid morning or afternoon hunger pokes!
my 3 favourites being
chesnuts &
sunflower seeds!

so to recapp! day one is going top notch!! my minds still engaged and ready for whats to come and i've started making positive plans to creating a new and healthy me after the cleanse! i think my councillor would be quite proud!!

tomorrow i get to weigh in! last time i weighed was before the ease in days and i was a brutally bloated 161lbs :/ yes i've gained alot recently! hopefully i wont have to see this numer for too long!

 today i have a selection of PERFECT POSES!

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

The Master Cleanse

Ok So i've been building up to it and tomorrow i officially start


the past three days i have spent eating only vegetable broth, raw veggies and fruit and fresh juice. oh and of course the warming herbal teas!!
i'm feelin great so far and the anticipation i'm feeling will probably help me get through the first difficult few days!
i've done all my research, read the book over and over and have a kitchen full of all the ingrediants i need!
after avoiding my three main vices for three days; dairy, caffiene and alcohol, my mind and body is super prepped!!

so here are the basics, for 10 days starting tomorrow morning i will be living of a lemony conncotion made from fresh oraganic lemons, grade B maple syrup, cayenne pepper and distilled water! the only cheats allowed are non-caffinated herbal teas for a fresh and refreshing change of taste! laxative teas have to be drunk every night and a salt water flush every morning just to keep everything moving!!!

yes this is me bulldozing my way into health for the new year with a mega DETOX!!!

o.kay so if i manage to see this through not only will i have shifted a few pounds but i will hopefully feel fresher and cleansed! o.kay so know your thinking 'ah this is just a clever rouse, another social disguise for getting away with ED behaivour' but to be honest this couldn't be less about the weight loss. yes of course that would be a fantastic side effect but the weight lost on a cleanse is hard to keep off. what i'm hoping to gain from this is a kick at my IBS which is currently a burden, to give me a break from alcohol and hopefully introduce me into healhty living. i'm kinda hoping after feeling refreshed and experiencing great pride at my willpower i will be able to tackle my binging and purging which has left my body exhausted, ill and poisoned!

i'm not saying this is gonna cure my ED but i'd rather be excersising and toning up again and gaining back the control over my eating! but still i'm not letting myself swell with false hope but rather keeping my mind focussed on the next ten days!

I will be coming on here everyday and posting my progress and hopefully this can help you decide on whether this is a cleanse you could find beneficial too!

so stay tuned and wish me luck cus i'm gonna need your support!

take care every one and i'll sign in tommorow and hopefully explain things in a little more detail!

here are a few inspiring pictures (i cant end a blog without a few pics!) this is a collection of