warm water deffinatley helps as in my tired state i needed something to warm my muscles up!
i've only managed to have 6 glasses of the stuff today and had to go on an emergency lemon run (never spent so much on lemons in my life, i got some wierd looks at the asda when i cleared there organic box out of the only 6 bags of lemons they had, for the second time in a row!
i've been having bad stomach cramps this evening and not sure whether to pin this down to the usual or to the lack of food in my tummy. once again i've been hearing the churning sounds rumble through my stomach wall so loud it made the cat jump!
i dont really have too much to report today! its been fairly uneventful!i havnt really had any feelings of HUNGER but the smell of food i've cooked for the fella has made be intensley miss its flavour and even the simple sensation of chewing! i miss food like i'd missa lost lipstick! yes it was special, a favourite and a fantastic shade but i dont linger on it too long as i dont need it and besides i have a million more! the nature of not eating has just become so usual that it would feel unusual now to be planning my day around food, counting my money and the dreaded obsession with calories! it feels nice to have that freedom. to have my mind back to myself to focus on whats going on in my life. how i'm coping. what i'm feeling. one less thing to busy myself with. a bit of me time! i think it deffinatley worth putting up with a couple of hours of discomfort each day!
i really missing excersize! its been hard for me to get to the gym currently so until monday i have been taking long walks and small jogs out in the cold of nature! i get bursts of energy and feel i could still manage some gentle cardio and deffinatley pilates! i need to start concentrating on keeping my metabolism going so as i approach the latter half of my cleanse i really need to turn my focus onto excersize!
unusally i've recieved much enjoyment flicking through recipie sites and books, eyeballing food porn and general busying myself around it in my day-to-day life without much concern over eating it! it feels less of a necessity, a enemy, a burden to me but more of a hobby. an interest. i have more respect for its sight, its smell, its various flavour. i feel like my eyes have be opened to a whole new realm of food. to natural products and from scratch home cooking! the earthy colours and the variety! less and less to i feel drawn my fast food, by the greace and fat and comfort of it all but more of the intrigue of creating new things. the indulgence to experiment! o.kay i'm still not gonna trust it and i dont believe for one minute i've been cured and good snap back into a normal way of healthy living and eating! i dont doubt that i would feel just as guilty overeating on chips than on oat cakes! but at least i'm trying to make a change! i least i havnt totally given up on myself yet!
i'm gonna signn off now and get some much desired rest. i can barley even concentrate on the screen, i feel a little dizzy and my hands are tingling!
today i have decided my change will be to not be afraid to eat vegan more often. an equal amount of the bodys nutrients and vitamins can be found in vegan products without resorting to heavy meats or fish! a lot recipies are designed to give the body all it needs and give one a satisfied 'full' feeling. no worries about craving or missing out on meat and resorting to binging! if you pic your ingrideants right you can keep your stomach happy! well thats whta i hope! if not i am just talking bollocks!
tonight i will leave you with some