Friday, 4 February 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 10

So today is the final day of the master cleanse and I’m feeling a little sad to be saying goodbye to it! That doesn’t mean I feel ready to settle down and suck on lemons for the rest of my life but the mental break has been well needed and my body hasn’t felt quite so healthy in a long time!

Today I got up late feeling extremely tired, weak and dizzy. I had to drag myself to the kitchen and could barley stand upright even to make my first lemonade of the day! I greedily chugged it down and sat for a few minutes. Nope nothing yet. Still sat waiting. Hmmmmm normally I get some kick of energy by now. But no nothing, so I drag myself miserably into the shower hoping it will stir some activity from me! Getting ready goes slow but by the time I;ve took the brisk walk down to the bus stop I’m feeling much better and ready to finish off in better mood!

And that’s about all to report so far as here I am, the only time I’ve got to update.

So, conclusions and lessons learned? Well I can conclude that after this I now weigh 150lbs! which means a total loss of 11lbs while on this cleanse! Also, as I went into yesterday I have experienced both physical and mental health benefits! In fact all in all I’m feeling like a pretty normal person! Still I have no real hunger cravings or pains and at one point was even considering going for longer. But the best way to succeed is to stick to a plan plus, I remind myself, this is my first time doing this and there’s always next time!

My minds only thought now is oranges; yummy oranges and fresh fruit smoothies and all the glorious concoctions that await me over the next few days. (I’m also, dare I say, feeling a little bit proud!)

Lessons learned! Well I know that I really could have done which drinking more of the lemonade and definitely I could have drunk more water. I have been feeling a few suspect signs of dehydration recently so have been mindfully watching how much I’m drinking and making sure I always have a big bottle of distilled water with me wherever I go instead of just juice!

Any problems? Non that draw immediate attention or should cause alarm! My hands are shaking quite a lot today and I have had some awful headaches of late (but that most likely links back to slight dehydration). My bowel movements have not been…. Comfortable to say the least. Going around 4 or 5 times every morning has been quite annoying but there are no indications of bas health and the herbal laxative tea has done its job well!

Would I recommend this! YES I can eagerly say I would! To anyone! Even if you don’t suffer from any chronic pains or toxin issues there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be good to your body and give it a good clear out and reap the many benefits! You do feel like an entirely different person at the end of it! Positive outlook and healthy kicks also help pave a way to a new lifestyle and attitude towards food, exercise and general well-being!

So whats left! Well the ease out. Now this is a delicate procedure. You cant just expect to jump of a cleanse a go back to normal eating! (or not so normal in my case). By doing so you but your body at risk of shock trauma, damage to your digestive system and not to mention the pounds will jump straight back on. You have to understand how you digest food and how your metabolism works. Get yourself familiar with different foods again. Going from liquids and then slowly back to solids! You don’t want all your energy and willpower to go to waste now do you??

So I will keep updating whenever I can on how the ease out is going and of course how my new frame of mind is coping with returning back to a non cleanse lifestyle!
I’m sorry but there are no pictures today as I am using a college computer but I have plenty to share so patience!! :)

Thursday, 3 February 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 6,7,8 &9

Wow. i suck big time!! not ipdated in 4 days! and here's my lame excuse! I HAVE NO INTERNET!!!! nope not even 3g on my phone works where i live >:( BIG GRUMPS!!!
so i've trekked all the way up to my rents to use theres and give you this update and tomorrow i plan on using valuable college time to blog then!!

sooo how have the past four days been! i have to say they've flown by. the venings seem to drag on as i keep telling myself 'nearly there, nearly there' and ' dont your DARE give up now' but once i get over that little hump for the night the next day swiftly comes and goe's and comes and goes until here i am on the penultimate day of the clenase! ready to say goodbye to lemons for good. well not for good actually but at least until i can get the constant taste, smell, sight and soggy feel out of my senses! I AM SICK TO DEATH OF LEMONADE!!! my pallete is begging me for some new flavours!

today i did my final grocery shop for the cleanse! i'm stocked up with enough lemons to last the rest of today and tomorrow and too HUUUGEE bags of juicy, tempting, tantalising fresh oranges. mmmmmmmmmmmm! i've also stocked up on summer fruits so i can make a zingy, refreshing smoothie on sunday!!! aw man i cant wait! i have honestly NEVER been this excited about fruit! i dont even care about burgers or fries or pizza or curry or chinese or whatever you might expect a bulimic lass like me to be craving after such a long time without a binge but NO!! i dont want to unsult my body with that rubbish! its fresh fruit, vegetables, salty nuts and warm warm broths i desire!! i just want to feel awake and energectic and cheerful not bloated and full and guilty!
wow this really doesnt sound like me! i dont even crave my usual big binge food of cheese toasties!

this all reminds me that i should review how my mentality has changed over theese past 12 days (including the ease in). i do feel better in my head! i've had a lot more brain energy and feel lesswilling to mope in depression! i've found myself able to laugh and get a buzz from conversations and jokes with my friends at college without pumping myself full of sugar and caffine! the worry of food was lifted from my soldiers. while everyone was busy doing work, or cleaning there houses or being productive i was joining them instead of letting my mind wander in concern over how i was going to get away with not eating lunch today. i wasn't wasting hours adding up calories in my head, planning recipies and ways to try and get around eating in the evening with my boyfriend. my mind hasnt been fixated with the guilt of contemplating a binge or of having binged or of having purged or not purged! i've been enjoying taking long walks and exsercising instead of seeing it as a neccessity to burn of all those malicious calories that i've consumed!!and stepping on the scale everday has encouraged my pride in my own willpower more than concern or relief over pounds gained or pound lost!

but with all this good news comes a growing fear. of how i'm going to cope when i come off this. how i'm going to react to food again. is my opinion of it really going to changed. are my eating habbits going to be different. are they going to be better or get worse! how long can i keep up this optimism without been drawn into the security and ritual and familiarity of binging and purging and restricting when i start to feel down, when i start to doubt myself aghain, when the voices in the back of mind start nagging me again!
its all in the future though so maybe instead of lingering on these fears and paranoia i should enjoy the fresh new feeling of complete joy and accomplishment at having, just about, seen this thing through!!

as for the physical side of things! well i still have a furry tounge which i'm hoping will clear into the promised bright pink after the ease out. my skin (having gotten fairly spotty around day thrree of the cleanse) has seemed to clear up notcabley. my dry skin doesnt seem to be bothering me as much and despite a few anomolies my stomach has been so well behaved with very little pain at all! my energy levels are still surprisingly high with only a slight feeling of weakness and dizzyness starting to show in the evenings! i still dont feel hungry or any great need to eat but i am looking foreward to chewing something!the weight loss has been a blessing too taking that much needed weight of my back and knees and relieving a lot of pressure and pain from around those joints!
at current i weigh 151lbs roughly and will tally up my total weight loss tomorrow!

all in all i'm feeling pretty damn funky!!
i cant wait until i can stand up and be one of those who can say 'i did the master cleanse for 10days! i saw it all the way through. i didnt cheat. and i feel great!'.
maybe i'm gonna give the holistic and natural health remdies and recipies more of chance from now on! maybe i'll end up adopting the godess of nut power or the great god of super soya as my new faith (although i do doubt it)

finally heres 4 things that i owe to my after cleanse lifestyle:

1) opt for herbal teas instead of sodas and caffine. over the oast few days i have developed a new fondness for herbal teas and what they can do for the body! i love the taste and the variety and will be sure i think twice before opting for the diet coke or the mega mega latte!
2)try and buy more organic! i never really thought much about organic foods before this. of how non-rganic, cheaper supermarket varieties often are tainted with preservatives, colouring agents and pesticides. although eating organic can mean spending more money which i dont have and having to shop more often to get them when there fresh it doesnt mean i cant try and substitute some of my normal groceries with organic!
3) get off the pills!! i, like many others, or hooked on suppliments and vitamins and anything which is advertised as a quick way to give my body everything it needs. this cleanse has tought me that if i eat the right food i shouldnt need to suppliment my body with any man made remedy. i dont have any deficiency as i know of so i should spend more time giving my body the power foods it needs and keeping the junk out and the natural in!
4) TAKE TIME FOR ME!!! yes this is numero uno selfish bitch coming through! but its true. i've learned that occasionally treating my body IS a good thing. i realise that sometimes i get caught in this warped complex. that i hate my body. that i dont deserve to be rewarded but punished. and its hard to break that. but once in a blue moon. when perhaps i've got up on the good side of my head and i dont feel like arguing with myself i think i should take myself somewhere nice wehile the feeling lasts. things that dont involve food so theres no guilt. perhaps gettin an indian head massage. or doing a yoga class and then a trip to the sauna at the gym instead of 2 hours intense cardio. heck even a nice soothing bath with potions and lotionswould be nice for a change.

maybe it is time i started treating myself a bit better! wo knows i may even end up mending that screwy relationship i have with my head!
but for now everyone i will have to wish you good day and get lost as i have plenty of lemons that needs squeezing and juice that needs drinking!

todays pictures are of

Sunday, 30 January 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 5

ahhhh i cant belive i'm practically half way through this (if i stick with the 11 day plan and not ten!) i'm feeling sooooo good! my tummy is flat, i've still got a reasonable amount of energy to get through the day and do my chores and besides the whiff of the bf's garlic rice early i can honestly say today has been the easiest by far with dealing with hunger cravings. infact i've hardly had any at all. in fact i was even thinking to myself during my mini shopping spree today (initiated by a need to get more maple syrup) how much of a chore it is to organise shopping and errand running around stopping for food in town. planning on where to go, how much to spend, whether i'm not eating and should fuel on some overpirced skinny, mocha mania frappawhateverchinno . its just been so easy and simple and the without the threat of food always on my mind extremley stress free! its like a friggin holiday from the crazy!

so all in all optimism spreading eagerly!

i woke up feeling exhausted again but, true to form, my first lemonaded of the day gives me all the pep i need!

as joyous as this whole thing is going i can honestly say i'm looking foreward to finishing! i miss my high intensity cardio workouts. i miss my morning cup of tea! i miss something as simple as as choosing between brown bread or white bread! and yes i am starting to get sick of the lemons! its everything i smell. its everything i taste. its just lemons lemons everywhere!!!!

buuuuuut i shouldnt be complaining. i have a bit of a sore throat, a furry tounge and occasional cramps which i suppose is a sign the the toxins a breaking down in my body which should mean they'll start getting flushed out!

and even though i have always said this is about my health i am revelling in the fact that all my curent trousers are falling down and i can switch back to the lower size!

i have to go to the doctors tomorrow about my IBS and theese new tablets i'm on! i feel reluctant to tell her that i'm on this cleanse unless the subject rears its ugly head in conversation. i'm not going to lie. and i'm not doing anything stupid! its just with an ED label tucked behind your belt health proffesionals are less inclined to believe your doing anything sensible for your health :/
but i am a mature adult and i should hope my choices in this instant should be respected!

todays little health change is to replace at least 2 meals a week with soya products! i often cook meals for me and my boyfriend to encourage him to eat healthier too and to try and achieve some normality around food! so this is a plus for the both of us!

tomorrow i'm back into the hustle and bustle of weekday life so i'm sure i'll have more interesting things to report!! i also get to weigh in again tomorrow so that should be fun!

so until then take care everyone and goodnight!

tonight i leave you with

Saturday, 29 January 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 4

today i have felt EXHAUSTED!! just shattered! i woke up at a fairly acceptable weekend time but couldnt rouse myself from the bed till at least 1:30pm! i just felt so weary! my first glass of lemonade did re-invigerate me for a while but i had to keep using it to fuel myself!

warm water deffinatley helps as in my tired state i needed something to warm my muscles up!

i've only managed to have 6 glasses of the stuff today and had to go on an emergency lemon run (never spent so much on lemons in my life, i got some wierd looks at the asda when i cleared there organic box out of the only 6 bags of lemons they had, for the second time in a row!

i've been having bad stomach cramps this evening and not sure whether to pin this down to the usual or to the lack of food in my tummy. once again i've been hearing the churning sounds rumble through my stomach wall so loud it made the cat jump!

i dont really have too much to report today! its been fairly uneventful!i havnt really had any feelings of HUNGER but the smell of food i've cooked for the fella has made be intensley miss its flavour and even the simple sensation of chewing! i miss food like i'd missa lost lipstick! yes it was special, a favourite and a fantastic shade but i dont linger on it too long as i dont need it and besides i have a million more! the nature of not eating has just become so usual that it would feel unusual now to be planning my day around food, counting my money and the dreaded obsession with calories! it feels nice to have that freedom. to have my mind back to myself to focus on whats going on in my life. how i'm coping. what i'm feeling. one less thing to busy myself with. a bit of me time! i think it deffinatley worth putting up with a couple of hours of discomfort each day!

i really missing excersize! its been hard for me to get to the gym currently so until monday i have been taking long walks and small jogs out in the cold of nature! i get bursts of energy and feel i could still manage some gentle cardio and deffinatley pilates! i need to start concentrating on keeping my metabolism going so as i approach the latter half of my cleanse i really need to turn my focus onto excersize!

unusally i've recieved much enjoyment flicking through recipie sites and books, eyeballing food porn and general busying myself around it in my day-to-day life without much concern over eating it! it feels less of a necessity, a enemy, a burden to me but more of a hobby. an interest. i have more respect for its sight, its smell, its various flavour. i feel like my eyes have be opened to a whole new realm of food. to natural products and from scratch home cooking! the earthy colours and the variety! less and less to i feel drawn my fast food, by the greace and fat and comfort of it all but more of the intrigue of creating new things. the indulgence to experiment! o.kay i'm still not gonna trust it and i dont believe for one minute i've been cured and good snap back into a normal way of healthy living and eating! i dont doubt that i would feel just as guilty overeating on chips than on oat cakes! but at least i'm trying to make a change! i least i havnt totally given up on myself yet!

i'm gonna signn off now and get some much desired rest. i can barley even concentrate on the screen, i feel a little dizzy and my hands are tingling!
today i have decided my change will be to not be afraid to eat vegan more often. an equal amount of the bodys nutrients and vitamins can be found in vegan products without resorting to heavy meats or fish! a lot recipies are designed to give the body all it needs and give one a satisfied 'full' feeling. no worries about craving or missing out on meat and resorting to binging! if you pic your ingrideants right you can keep your stomach happy! well thats whta i hope! if not i am just talking bollocks!

tonight i will leave you with some

Friday, 28 January 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 3

ok. so today was slightly more difficult but really not as bad as i was expecting! i have given up on the salt water flush as it makes me gag too much and with my dodgy stomach being as it is i really cant afford to be puking up nothing!! so i've switched it for the optional extra laxative tea in a morning!

And while were on the topic i suppose i must discuss bowel movements! well lets say i'm going! i'm going quite a bit but not so much to cause concern! it does feel like i am being flushed from the inside! more flushed then cleansed as of yet!!

i started the day feeling very rough as usual with severe stomach pains! i spent most of the morning moving between the loo and curling back up in bed! (and while were on a bit of TMI i must admitt i had a fair bit of flatulance *blushes*)

but after managing to rouse myself at around 11, take my laxtea and have another long shower i set about preparing my first lemonade drink of the day! i can honestly say before this i was feeling fairly peaky and my skin was a lovely shade of pale hangover white! but that zingy drink perked me up almost instanly and i was soon on my way!

i spent the evening busy at college, constantly gulping down my daily drink intake, and a felt a liberating rush of energy! i wasnt even tempted by the open bags of haribo scattered on the table! nope not one bit!! but then the evening hit and i have never and i mean NEVER have heard my stomach make such noisy! it was like i swallowed a wookie! MENTAL!! and i was feeling sooooooo hungry! even cartoon chips look appealing! its weird i mean i've fasted before for around a week or more and not had any problems but i've always been able to cheat! with the aim being weight loss and not good health as well i had no problems guzzling energy drinks, coffee, caffine pills and the likes to curb my appetite and give me energy (although the strain on my heart was terrifying and i would end up shaking and feeling like i was on some ecstacy trip with the palpatations) but now i know i have to watch my health! i given my body so much abuse i cant risk it!

but back to the hunger! i was soooo fucking grouchy! i was so tempted to just cook up a warm bowl of soup! something to calm my inside! but i forced my self to make another batch of juice and miraculously i began to feel better! i felt more energetic, after spending a good few solid hours curled up under duvets my body seemed to warm up and the hunger cravings and stomach rublings subsided and back came to positive feelings! i soon switched to being to optimist again! like a fruit fuelled bipolar!! it was mad!!!

i'm not gonna lie and say i'm enjoying this! i hate food and it always feels like the enemy to me but even with this fued i am still looking foreward to getting back to my warm tea, my boiled veggies and my tinned tuna!!! as much as i hate my relationship with food i can never deny that i dont appreciate its taste somedays! its comfort factor! and right now i miss that and it makes me feel momentarily weak! but i am doing this for a reason! i am doing this for my self and i am doing it to try and change my attitude towards food! maybe i learn to appreciate it more! to not waste it on mindless binges and guilt fuelled purges! to take more care when restricting and remeber that keeping the most nutriant packed all good earth fresh foods can actually be a friend to me!

i'm gonna round it up now with my healthy after cleanse changes! (i forgot to do this yesterday so i'll think of 2 for today)

ok the first is i'm going to start making all my own sauces and vinegrettes and dressings! my grandma bought me a real fancy food processor yesterday as a late moving in present for my flat and the benefit of this means i wont have to my those processed mystery dressing which can contain all sorts of dirty preservatives and often never offer and nutritional values!

the second is to cut a large amount of caffine out of my average diet! being on this cleanse has shown me the benefits of natural foods for providing good energy! i have often reallied to much on coffee to sustain me! but no more i say! plus it cant be good for my ibs!

as a final note i now weigh in at, dun dun dun duuuuuun, 154lbs! woop 11stone or 70kg whichever way you look! thats a loss of 7lbs so far! my knees and back arnt aching as much and i honestly feel a lot healthier in myself despite the stomach pain!

todays pictures are of

Thursday, 27 January 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 2

today was a little bit harder i admitt! i woke up with agonising stomach pains but as the day went on the pain went away! i tried to keep myself super occupied and it was going great until, whilst purusing the shops in the city centre with my gran, the delicious aromas of a dozen coffee shops, chocolate stalls and pannini places whifted through my nostrils! god easy meals have never smelt so good! i even found myself drooling over the image of a burger later on the internet, something which swiftly reminded me of why i was in this situation, of the shameful binges that helped me get stuck in stomach turmoil and chubby misery!

When i got back in from the freezing cold i ended up curling up on the sofa, tv on and covered in 3 fleecy blankets! hunger no longer on my mind i bunkered down for a couple of hours. still freexing a full of my tv fix i dragged my ass into the shower! Oh man the heat was soo good! i just stood there in the scolding water for what must have been at least 20mins! i jumped into an early bed time ritual of pj's, make-up off and man sized jumpers engulfing me!
it wasnt long after that i found myself jumping into the kitchen and whipping up a big batch of tasty lemony goodness! i felt so good that i was almost shocked when i saw food in the fridge and realised that it had not crossed my mind since my lucnhtime shopping and that instantly put me in a good mood again!

i guess the hardest thing today has been the cravings for binge worthy food. its not so much the want to eat a normal meal or even a snack or a nibble! its the familiar want to gorge myself! but i tell myself i am better than this and ploug onwards, looking foreward to my night time warmth from a herbal tea and a good nights sleep!

i've got a busy day planned for tommorow with lots of things to distract me from evil nawing cravings and the knowledge in my mind that my birthdays just around the corner and i want to achieve my goal to look and feel fabulous!!
thats all for now! i'm sure things will start getting more interesting the further i go into this! take care all!

oh and P.s. after a cheeky weigh in on the scales today i can happily say i am now 155lbs! still an appalingly hideous number but still! a loss of 6lbs in 6days! no thats enought to make anyone smile :D

i leave you with my picture collection for today!

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Master Cleanse - Day 1

So today has gone GREAT!!! i am so cheery cheery! it turns out the lemonade drink is DELICIOUS!! most people dont like it because of the spiciness of the cayenne pepper but i'm used to it so to me the drink is a refreshing little treat all through the day!!!!

i've had eight cups of the stuff today, 2 herbal teas and my morning Salt Water Flush (which was yucky but certainley did the trick)!! I'm gonna finish off with my smooth tea and an early night!! keep myself refreshed!

Still feeling pretty positive although the temptation to steal a tiny potatoe chunk off my bf's dinner was quite high! still i resisted!! NO POTATOE!!! :D

And i've only had 2 lots of meds today as my stomach pain has been quite discreet! i must admitt i'm already fed up of hand squeezin a dozen lemons so will have to go find my cheap juicer!

so here's the recipe i'm following for all those curious! i cup of juice contains

2 tblsp fresh organic lemon juice
2 tblsp grade B maple syrup
1/10 tsp cayenne pepper
8oz distilled water

shake it all up and enjoy!!!!

i dont doubt though that by friday i'll probably be feeling a little grouchy and many say this is the worst day of the cleanse. the hurdle to endure before you can really jump on the master cleanse bandwagon fan club!!
but if i can get through a social weekend and no college to keep me distracted then i know i'll be able to see this through to the end!!
hopefully some gentle exercise tomorrow will prove fruitful and as the day goes on will aid in calming the hunger pangs! as will the hot showers! but if i keep a strong mind i can try and overcome the physcological cravings!

people have blogged and noted before that to succeed you have to tune into your body and get to know what it really wants! i'm a little unnerved by this as i have had lots of trouble keeping focussed and concentrating on the positive things my body needs since i fell into this depression, ED bullshit but i've got my boyfriend supporting me through this and even the nod of approval my a reluctant mother so maybe i dont have to do something on my own for a change! maybe i should allow people to help keep me strong!

i'm still sticking to my pescribed meds as is the sensible thing to do but have yet to take and supplements/ vitamins which are discouraged in the original master cleanse book.

i've also decided to find a least one healthy meal recipie/ habbit/ excersize aid etc to add to my new after detox living!
today i have decided to take to the habbit of eating a small handfull of nuts or seeds replacing sugary or carby snacks i may turn to and then perhaps be tempted to binge on when the mid morning or afternoon hunger pokes!
my 3 favourites being
chesnuts &
sunflower seeds!

so to recapp! day one is going top notch!! my minds still engaged and ready for whats to come and i've started making positive plans to creating a new and healthy me after the cleanse! i think my councillor would be quite proud!!

tomorrow i get to weigh in! last time i weighed was before the ease in days and i was a brutally bloated 161lbs :/ yes i've gained alot recently! hopefully i wont have to see this numer for too long!

 today i have a selection of PERFECT POSES!